We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
