he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
