im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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