i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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