he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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