YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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