I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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