I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize