i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
