Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
