I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
