it's great music for shaving your balls
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
