Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
