Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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