need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This girl is more easily done than said...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
