She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
