if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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