A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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