is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize