How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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