we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
