What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think my moral compass just broke
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
