this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
