McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
