I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize