so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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