hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
