tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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