Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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