Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
