Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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