At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
People in love make me want to vomit
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
