I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
