Grow some girl-balls and come out already
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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