Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize