i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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