I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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