He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
