i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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