it was like his penis was on wheels.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize