i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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