last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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