Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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