everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
