we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
try to milk me bitch
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