Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
They are going to name an STD after you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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