I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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