I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
