I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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