THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
