JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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