ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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