Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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