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I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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