This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
