No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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