dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
