gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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