Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
