i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
