I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
