her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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