Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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