Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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