i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
