operation harelip BJ is a go
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
