I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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