he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
