So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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