Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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