dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
