I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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